My dearest Caton,
I am happy, humbled, and proud to be standing here with you today. It’s been quite a journey—one I wouldn’t change for anything in the world.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamt of the family I would one day create, and as I stand across from you with our boy safe and sound in my belly, I feel more peace, joy, and contentment than I ever dreamed possible.
You have offered me a type of love I didn’t think I deserved before I met you; the unconditional / strong / holistic love my family has shown me my entire life; the type of love that feels like coming home; the closest thing to Divinity on earth that I’ve experienced in this life, and because of that—I can confidently commit to spending the rest of my days with you as my partner.
1. I promise to be tender with your human-ness; to honor your dreams and fears, and love you for exactly who you are in this moment without expecting perfection, and without expecting you to change. I want you to hear that I love you exactly as you are in this very moment.
2. I promise to take responsibility for my wholeness. While I will crave your love and affection everyday, I will never expect you to complete me. That is my job, and mine alone, but I appreciate your encouragement along the way.
3. I promise to give you the freedom to be your best self and to step back if I interfere with your wellbeing. I trust that you ultimately know what’s best for you, and I promise to evolve my love as you evolve as a man.
4. I promise to not keep score. The scales will never be fully balanced, and that’s okay with me.
5. I promise to be your biggest fan; to encourage, support, and believe in you; to recognize your potential and remind you of that when you can’t see it yourself.
6. I promise to work. There will be good times and we will celebrate. There will be dark times and we will ache. And through the unforeseen ups and downs, I will work hard—work to become a better person than I was yesterday, work to understand your perspective and point of view, work to create a relationship that makes the world a little bit lighter.
7. I promise to play. I will never forget how our relationship began—full of friendship, adventure, risk, and reward. I cherish the youthful soul inside of you, so I want you to hear that I will never stop dancing with you, I will never discourage you from your love of super heroes and sci-fi, I will stay open to spontaneity, laughter, late nights because I know you and what you love matters to me.
8. I promise to take responsibility for making you my favorite. You are my one and only, and if at any point in this journey, I don’t “feel” that same way, I promise to do the necessary soul-searching, ego-squashing work to help us re-align.
9. I promise to embrace your family as my own. Today, I am gaining approximately 13 new siblings and 2 additional parents. I promise to be an active participant; to do my best to stay connected, engaged, and open; to grow and forgive and start fresh as often as we need, because that’s what family does.
10. I promise to always return. There may be times when I step away in the heat of a moment; times where I lack presence and awareness; times when I fail to live my the vows I’ve made you today, but I swear I will return—to you, to us, to these commitments over and over again for the rest of my life.
You, my love, are pure light in a sometimes-dark world, and I consider myself blessed beyond measure to share a life with you.
Photos below are by Marissa Boswell: marboswell.com
